Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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