that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Its about making memories worth repressing
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
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ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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