Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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