can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize