so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
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Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
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I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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