i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
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Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
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Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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