Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
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