9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
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i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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