Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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