You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
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I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
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You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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