miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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