I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize