No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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