...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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