jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize