season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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