She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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