hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
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She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
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