he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
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Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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