so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
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I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
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Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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