it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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