nut hugger
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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