The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize