i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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