just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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