I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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