i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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