There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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