3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize