i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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