Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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