I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize