If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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