My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize