Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize