I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
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Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
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YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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