I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize