Plan B is the new Plan A
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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