I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
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