where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize