while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize