very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize