I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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