he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
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