I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
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I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
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Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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