I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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