I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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