So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
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i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
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Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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