I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
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this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
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Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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