yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
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laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
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What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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